Friday, January 21, 2011

Be Careful While You Are On Facebook!

I've made my share of mistakes on Facebook.  I've divulged way too much information... information that may have potentially put me or my family at risk.  

Some people post once a day/week... while others, (like myself) tend to post more frequently throughout the day.

Hey, it is our connection to the "real world" as Moms for crying out loud.

But what about our safety?  Are there precautions that we should be taking as women, mommies, and/or wives?

Some guidelines I've thought about for myself:

1) I will not seek out corresponding with former boyfriends or crushes.

2) I will not belittle my husband.

3) I will not post when I go out for a run/walk.

4)  I will not post when my husband is out of town.

5) I will not talk bad about someone else.

6)  I will "try not to" post every detail of my life... you never know when someone is keeping track of your schedule.

7) I will use discretion when posting pictures of my family and friends.

8) I will update my security settings appropriately.

9) I will not post when I'm going to be away from my home for an extended period of time.

Have you thought about your family's safety on social media sites like Facebook?  Do you have any suggestions to add?

If you think this was helpful, please share it with your Facebook friends and family.



  1. I tend to only post once a week or so. I'm the same, I NEVER post when I'm not home, or when my husband isn't home. I try to keep things light and funny, and have joined a separate group for talking politics. My profile is pretty much on lock-down, though. I started deleting some pictures just because I really don't want too many things out there.

  2. You are right on Traci! As I have branched out to lead several pages and a couple of groups I have actually become more closed to FaceBook. Sadly there are bad people out there. There are people with good intentions that go horribly wrong, such as "just saying hi to my old crush" In the end I value my wonderful family and husband more than FaceBook. Discretion.
    God bless
    Heather L

  3. I definitely think like about safety to when posting. These are great reminders for all. I'll be sharing this post with my friends, thanks!

  4. Traci,
    You are right. I am sometimes amazed at how people update where they are eating or going away for the weekend. wow. I did post once when we were on vacation and then someone told me about the safety issue and I haven't since. I also have heard of old 'flames' reuniting just for 'coffee' and one thing leads to another and...well just sad! Thanks for the post today sweetie! I hope you are feeling better too! :)

  5. Good reminder! I've stopped posting hardly at all on facebook for a number of reasons. I also find that blogs can be tricky too. There are people (groups) just searching for blogs to harass. I've been the target and it's not fun, so I have to be careful now what I even post about on my own blog. So sad!

  6. I totally agree! As one of your other commenters said, I apply a lot of the same rules to my blog

  7. I only post a few times a week, and I keep the same rules as you. I never ever post when we are going out of town, or not home etc. Good stuff to think about!

  8. Great points! I often wonder why my friends are telling the whole world they aren't home! yikes, so many creeps out there and you just never know. And we need to ask permission before we tag someone in a photo. Maybe they don't want that photo of them published. Lots to think on. I also very much appreciated your comments at Like A Warm Cup of Coffee :)

    Please feel free to stop by: Trailing After God

  9. I think you have things pretty covered!!!

    Maybe had
    1. not having hometown or anything that could show where you live
    2. no pictures of valuable in your home etc...

  10. Anonymous11:50 AM

    This is so important to remember, Traci! I once saw a segment on the news about a woman that posted about going to a concert on a particular evening, and came home to find that she had been robbed. She happened to have a nanny cam, and later discovered that the thief was a guy she knew from high school and had recently friended on facebook. He knew she was going to be out all evening, and used the opportunity to help himself to her belongings.

  11. Good post, Traci! I pretty much have thought of these things and stick by these rules.

  12. Those are great guidelines! My husband and I don't accept friends of the opposite gender unless it is a mutual friend. This includes many old friends but it keeps us both comfortable. I haven't thought about the risk of posting when going away. That is something to think about.

  13. True! I only do facebook for people I know in real life & literally every friend I have is a church family member of mine or family member. Therefore I do not have gazillions of facebook friends like most people do.

    I saw the insanity of facebook & quit it all together at one point. I later understood the value of it as far as reaching the women of my church as the women's ministry director. The women facebook MUCH more than I can ever get them to read the church blog! So, I had to get back on it. And, actually it is fun when it is scaled down to only people know in your real life & don't have to worry about so much "stalker-ish" stuff. And the best part is being facebook friends with all the gals I bible study with & how we share our revelations. It can be a good connector to other women in ministry if you use it wisely.

  14. I have been offline so-to-speak for some time and am glad to be back in touch. This is a good post! I have to admit that I have befriended old boyfriends. However, that is because we are old friends and I adore getting to keep up with them and their families. I grew up in a small town so we have known each other from birth. Actually, they are more like brothers than old boyfriends and I have become friends with their wives. I think you have to use discretion. Not everyone is in the same situation as I am.

    That being said, I do have some precautions that weren't mentioned.
    1. I never put my girls names on their pictures. I use "my oldest" and "my youngest" and never tag them.
    2. I don't befriend my girls either. I have passwords and can check on them anytime.
    3. I don't befriend any teens. I do not want to be responsible for any behaviors/pics/language that I may feel are inappropriate. If I were to see it, I would feel like it was my responsibility to say something to their parents. That is just too much for me.

    Those are just my thoughts. Glad you got everyone to thinking. :-)

  15. good reminders.... a goal for myself is to not look at the profiles of others just to find out what they have been "up to"....I mean those that Satan would allow my mind to start being judgemental about....I have a lot of "friends" on mine from HS and college that don't share the same values as I do so I won't go seeking out their photos because it only invites an attitude that doesn't please the Lord...the only other rule is to remember that I don't want to be connected to the real world...I just want others to see the Lord in my life through my page. My friend should've emailed you about her blog and I'll email you soon to fix up my moms! You're awesome.

  16. You made me think of a funny story. My husband's ex had contacted him on FB and tried talking, a little more forward than I felt comfortable with. He too was uncomfortable, and politley told her it was not approriate and unfriended her. That night I was telling him how much I don't like it and would never friend my ex. As I was talking, I got on and my ex had a request to be my friend! I just died laughing. I accepted his friendship, said a polite hello, then unfriended him. I felt it necessary to be polite since much of his family are still friends of mine, but I can't agree more with the rule to rule out ex's! Dangerous territory. I even know a woman who left her husband for an ex after friending him on FB. Very Dangerous!

  17. I totally agree! I used to post when we would go on vacations or away, because I was excited. But, my husband made me stop, which I think is smart.

  18. If you have college aged students remind them not to post their schedules! My students did that all the time and it always lets someone know where to find you.

  19. I also don't usually post where I am going. If I mention it, it will be after I already went there. Thanks for the other tips!

  20. I think facebook is fun. I am a mid 50's grandma. But I also use discernment on facebook I personally do not publish my grandchildrens pictures nor do I publish personal information. My contacts are secured to friends only. My birthday and year is not published. Use caution and don't divulge everything.
    It is a tool that could be used in something wrong it is very easy to copy and paste pictures. So use wisdom and enjoy it.

  21. I also use discretion when uploading pictures in FB and status updates are always clean and no gripes against anyone esp since I have my former employers in there. Lolz. There was a time in FB when one could switch FB's security settings to private that not even your profile picture was searchable and the account name was unclickable too. I wish they didn't take that option out. I remembered it well because I had a business contact who was trying to connect with me in FB but since I had my security settings so high, she couldn't add me. She could only send me a message first. I had to be one to add her e-mail in my FB list of friend accept. Oh, well. FB changed. Another one is, I don't use apps that designated who are my immediate relatives in my FB list. I saw that in several of my friends and some of my own relatives (tsk..tsk...) and it just scares me. Way personal.


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