Friday, September 9, 2011

Some Thoughts On Saying Too Much...

God has entrusted (most of us) with a family.  Within that family there is liberty to make decisions based on what is best for that family.

As Christians, sometimes we think that giving our opinion on certain topics is okay, even when it isn't asked for.

Let's say for instance topics like:

  • working moms vs. stay at home moms
  • nursing babies vs. feeding formula
  • birth control vs. using no form of protection
  • sending kids to school vs. homeschooling
  • natural birth vs. med assisted 

There is a nice way to go about sharing our viewpoints (because we all have one)... and there is a an UGLY way about it.  

The ugly way about it gives no grace, no freedom to trust that God is working within that said family unity, etc.

Your thoughts?  Sometimes what we think doesn't really matter.  We should just pray that we make the right decisions for our own family and let God work in other people's homes.

As mothers, (especially) I feel we can cut other moms down the most.  

Why is that?

What if, instead, we came alongside one another and really spread some encouragement with our words, hearts, and actions?



  1. When I was a new mother, both of my parents really pushed their parenting opinions on me, occasionally to the point of treating me like a child and almost DEMANDING that I do things their way because, after all, they were experienced and knew what was best for my baby. It really drove a wedge between us, and it's something that I still think about from time to time. It really angered me.

    Now, though, I have a 21 year old son who is embarking on a life of his own, and now I GET why my parents thought they had to force their unrequested advice on me.

    It's hard to watch someone make mistakes. It's very hard to keep your mouth closed when you see someone you love doing something that you know isn't good for them or will make their life harder.

    But you're right, sometimes you need to just close your mouth and open your heart and show grace. It really is that simple.

    Great post! Thanks for sharing!

  2. I have a blog post in my drafts about this very thing. Why is there so much judgment in mommyland. Ugh, I really hate it. There are so many ways to parent, if we all did it the same way, we'd end up with a very boring world. Thank God for diversity!

  3. Traci, you spread encouragement with your words everyday on this blog. I never feel like you are judging or condemning, but you just share from your heart. Thanks for the love sister! Many blessings :)

  4. This has been of my heart lately, the needs for women to compete, to "have the last word" to be "right" to be the best etc... and in the process hurting one another!

    There is a balance, yes we need to hate sin, but for other decision that are in the grey zone, where the bible does not clearly dictate how to choose (formula or breast etc...) we should encourage each other, yes we can have our opinion but we should be open minded enough to see that others might have others things and that it ok,what works for some might not for other

    each there own :-)

  5. A similar post has been swirling around in my head as I received lots of "advice" on what to do about Asher's birth. The natural birth mommies kept pressing their opinions on me. Even though I was in agreement with them about birthing methods, I couldn't deny some of what the doctors were telling me about my personal case. In the end, the c-section was the best and safest way for Asher to arrive. It's a shame that we feel the need to make other mommies feel guilty for decisions they make for their families based on our own opinions for our families.

  6. WOW. I was just going to drop in and say thanks for coming to my blog. Who are yawl (the commenters) hanging out with?
    Seriously the first thing we "as Christians" need to be sharing is JESUS and um how we get to be forgiven and go to heaven and have a Holy Spirit filled life that is radically changed and transformed from the petty!
    Arguments about the "best" ways to any kind of performance were not role modeled by our sweet Jesus but by the Pharisees and the's because they didn't get it.

    If you really do have friends that back you up against the wall with these strong opinions then you probably have a prayer ministry on your hands.

    I'm just an over 50 granny that has learned from hard knocks that life is way to short for nonsense.

    The really funny thing is if you DO have a great way of doing something and are relaxed, people will ask you and you don't have to be pushy. Course I don't follow that bit of "wisdom" in my own house. My daughter would say whose in my mom's body right now? Is that the same woman I grew up with?

    Most of us learn life the hard way I think.

    Nice to meet you too!

  7. Wow Traci, great reminder! Thanks for sharing and soo true! When we believe strongly about something it is easy to take that zeal and spout it onto whomever doesn't agree or follow that. Having our speach filled with love and grace is what God's word asks of us. Thanks for the reminder!

  8. Love your post! I could ramble on a long time about this topic, but bottom line is this: Women must love and care for each other always. We have so much to do to care for our children, family, home - the list goes on. If we would all love, lift up, and cherish each other, like we wanted for ourselves, wouldn't it be incredible?! I think so!!


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