Thursday, May 31, 2012

On Modesty And What That Really Means

I don't have the answers on modesty.  What I think is modest, you may not.  What I think is immodest, you may think is perfectly acceptable to wear.  I've come a long way in what I write about here in this space.  I use to write less-than-grace-filled posts.  Like I was the Holy Spirit or something.  I'm not.  I'll let Him do the convicting.  I'm no good at it and frankly I don't enjoy taking the big fat splinters out of my eyeball afterwards.  Not pleasant.  Not at all.

This is what my Heavenly Father says to put on: "Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering." Colossians 3:12

Here are some things to consider, christian woman:

1) You represent the Lord Jesus Christ.  Would He approve?
2 Corinthians 5:20: "So we are Christ’s ambassadors; God is making his appeal through us. We speak for Christ when we plead, “Come back to God!”

2) Check your inner beauty before you adorn the outward.
Proverbs 31:30 "Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;
    but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised."

3) Ask your husband if he thinks you look appropriate.  If you are still living at home, ask your father.

4) Would you let your teenage daughter dress like you?  You are an example to younger ladies.  Are you someone they can look up to as a woman of God that dresses modestly? 

5) Never show your cleavage or any part of your chest.  Does your shirt drop down low in a v-shape or scooped neck?  Why not throw a camisole under it?

6) Would you want your husband looking at someone else dressed like you?  A husband's eyes are for his precious bride ONLY.  Don't do anything that might cause someone's husband to look on you with lust.  Yes, they are responsible for their own thoughts and actions.  But we should never cause that struggle to be a burden to them, but seek to lighten that burden by dressing modestly.

7) Do you think what you are wearing might cause another person to stumble?
Matthew 5:28 "But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart."  

8) Does your appearance bring glory to God?
1 Corinthians 10:31 "So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."

9) Remember your body is not your own.  You are bought with a price.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 "Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, 20 for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body."

10) When in doubt, err on the side of caution.  We live in a sex-driven culture.  Choose to be a shining symbol of modesty, not sexy.



  1. Anonymous1:35 PM

    Thanks for those verses, Modesty doesn't get touched often enough in the Christian church and it is a struggle for me to explain to my daughter why I won't let her wear certain types of outfits when even other church girls do. I was brought up in a very conservative family and much oof what I see in church would not of met mmy parents standards and I have trouble finding it acceptible.The bottom line is does what your wearing point people to Christ or to you. Are you being a stumbling block to men by what you wear? Are you comfortable sitting next to Jesus wearing that? Charm is decietful and beauuty is vain- but a woman who fears the Lord- she shall be praised. Thanks for letting me share, Joy

  2. what a wonderfully gracious, biblical post! I wholeheartedly agree!! and appreciate your caution to not be the Holy Spirit - He does a pretty good job just on His own!! :)

  3. Modest is hottest! I think you made some really good points. Having a daughter, I want to teach her that her body is a gift, and that she should wear respectable clothing. Her example is me, so I am always conscious of what I am wearing too! There are a lot of cute, modest clothes out there.

  4. Beautiful post! You are right when you say about how one person's modest is another person's immodest.

    I know some who believe that jeans or pants on a woman are immodest. I've also met some who believe it's immodest to show your ankles or arms and certainly no sleeveless tops. I've met some who have no trouble showing their cleavage or thighs, even in church.

    I was asked to give a talk on modesty to the teenage girls at our church once, and I asked them to bring their moms with them.

    One of the moms mentioned about checking in the mirror to make sure she wasn't showing anything before she came.

    I commented that the best way to check if you're showing any cleavage is to look down at your chest instead of looking straight on into a mirror.

    Because if a woman is short, a taller man standing next to her could, indeed, have a view. I was taller than her and I could see cleavage that she though she was hiding. So sometimes it's unintentional, I think.

  5. I'm working up a post for modesty, but truly need it to be 'grace laced". You broached this topic with beauty and grace! Thanks for sharing.

  6. Traci, I greatly appreciate this post. I am all for modesty! I greatly encourage it. But as you said, what I see as modest, someone else may not. I love how you point out that we are not the Holy Spirit so we should not try to do His job.

    Your tips for modestly are perfect. Thank you for this!

  7. Beautiful Traci and so true!! We can dress cute but cover the appropriate parts of our body.

  8. I would add, would you want your son looking at someone dressed like you?

  9. Even harder to teach: modesty is a heart condition. While it is very important to watch the way we dress, even more importantly, we should check the condition of our hearts. I could be completely covered up and be the most immodest woman in the room if I am feeling superior in the way I look to others. Remember, man looks at the outward appearance but the Lord looks at the heart. Blessings on you and thanks for giving us some great ways to teach this to our daughters, selves and girlfriends.

  10. Great post! Love the scriptures and this is a perfect "test" for all of us!!

  11. Very VERY good post! Absolutely agree.. except I do wear v-necks, (have one on now), but it's not a deep v.

  12. Great post Traci - you did a wonderful job at covering all aspects in a grace filled way!

  13. Great post! I think your list is right on what needs to be said about modesty. Blessings to you!

  14. Mandy7:39 PM

    Thank you for this wonderful post! I would agree with a previous comment...would you want your sons to look at a woman dressed as you are? I have 3 boys and a baby on the way, and I am increasingly aware of my boys eyes! So much so that I am cleaning out anything that I shouldn't wear...I've always been pretty modest...but I am taking it a step farther! I love your post and am happy to have found your blog!

  15. I am so glad I stumbled upon your blog. This was beautiful, and a great mirror for me as a mother to reflect into and remember I am her example of what modesty looks like. I pray she honors her body as Jesus honors her. Thank you for sharing.

  16. So happy I stumbled upon your blog. This is beautiful.

  17. Amen, sister! Great questions for women to consider.

  18. I read a comment one time that said something to the effect of dress how you want other women to dress around your husband. Thought that was smart! Good tips - I have the opportunity to work with teen girls and this topic comes up A LOT. I wish they would value themselves and that be demonstrated by their modesty - but we are all a work in progress!

  19. Anonymous8:09 PM

    Great post! There needs to be more posted about modesty!


  20. Perfectly written Traci! Love it! And the comments are great too! Thank you!

  21. Something that is usually missing in discussions of modesty - and you somewhat alluded to it here - is that men are aroused by sight. I think that if we teach our daughters (and a lot of women) this truth, it would change women's thinking in a hurry.

    I would love to read your thoughts on how to handle situations within the church where women are dressing immodestly and are causing your own husband to sin or nearly sin. There have been times I have had to tell my husband to avert his eyes, something I never thought I'd have to do in church!


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