Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Marriage Takes Work... And It Can Hurt Our Pride

I think he's being insensitive.  He thinks everything is hunky dory.  I stomp off to bed, shed a few tears to be heard, slam some dishes on the counter... all to make a point:  you hurt me!  I climb into bed, and stare at the wall.  My anger is felt throughout my body; it is tense and not letting up.  My thoughts race and rehearse "my case" in my mind, over and over, point by point, why he hurt me and why he should be sorry and apologize.  I wait for him to come up to bed, determined to hold my ground, never budging an inch.  And then I remember...

Mrs. Law Or Mrs Grace.  I listened to the broadcast the other day and it convicted me.  The written Word pierced my heart... all throughout my quiet time God has been speaking to me about sowing peace.  Be a peace maker.  Be forgiving.  Give others grace.  I start to plead my case with God, and He answers back... "what does my Word say, Traci?"  

I begin to confess my own sin to the Lord; my body starts to relax.  I forgive my husband; my body starts to relax.  I ask the Lord to make me Christ-like by His Spirit; my body completely relaxes... and so does my mind and heart.

My husband climbs into bed and instead of keeping my back to him, I place my arm around him, showing him grace.  I'm learning that grace is motivated by a love undeserved; unconditional.  My case has been thrown out, because I choose to be free from a law-ridden heart.  I choose to love my husband, even when my pride has been hurt and all I want to do is argue and plead my case... but I choose to love and forgive and show grace. That's where the freedom comes.

Lest you think I'm some heroic wife, this is something I'm learning after almost 8 years of marriage.  The quote above our bed says, "Always Kiss Me Goodnight" and there have been many a time where I've gone to bed angry and ignored the writing on the wall.  I think we sometimes think as wives that we always have to be right.  To be heard.  To make our point loud and clear.  Yes, there are times (many times) where we need to "have it out" gently with our spouses... communicating with tears if necessary what is hurting us in our marriages.  But the majority of the time, offenses can be covered with grace and forgiveness...

If you get a chance to listen to Mrs. Law Or Mrs Grace, it will bless your marriage I'm sure.  Even if it just changes you at first...  

When we throw out our own "case" and choose to forgive and be Mrs. Grace, the freedom will astound you. Lay aside your pride, dear wife... and be a wife that chooses to let your pride be wounded.  It's the marriages that hold onto pride that are the most damaged... Marriages need more grace.  More humility.  More forgiveness...  What do you think?



  1. Love this. I want to Mrs Grace, but that is definitely something I need to work on.

  2. I'm stubborn. I have been in that same place not wanting to forgive because he is the one in the wrong - not me. But oh how sweet is grace! Thanks for the link to the audio.

    I'll be listening to it really soon.

  3. AWW - you're such a sweetie Traci! Thanks for being transparent and allowing us a peek at your struggles. God bless you richly - AND your marriage too!!

  4. Yes, I have been there a few times and know how it feels. This was a great reminder of grace, forgivness and love.
    Thanks and blessing to you!


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