Thursday, October 18, 2012

How To Receive Affection From Your Husband After Being With Kids All Day

He's human just like you.  Your husband.  The best gift you can give him is a grace-filled wife.  Because after spending a day with dishes, and kids, and slobber and messes, I'm more likely to lash out at him rather than lavish him with grace. He deserves to be lavished with grace.  We all do.  {Well, I guess rather we don't and that is why grace is so beautiful.}

So how do I change the mood and transfer my heart from child-need to husband-need?  Because any Mama knows that after being pulled and dragged on and kissed on all day by beautiful little people has a way of making you want to retreat rather than pull in close to the one that made these beautiful people with you.  Remembering they are really secondary to the lover of your soul is important to remember.  Your husband.  Remembering your husband is secondary to the lover of your whole being, Jesus Christ, is even greater. 

So from early morning risers that crawl into my bed, and I'm all cranky and yell stop fighting and stop pulling on the covers and start out your day with a good attitude or I'll send you back to bed...  how do I transfer my heart to love Jesus, then husband, then kids when from the moment I wake up, until little people rest their heads on soft pillows, I'm surrounded by them with more needs than I can possibly fix?

Just do your very best.  God knows how busy you are.  Your kids will learn that your relationship with Jesus is most important when they see Him living through you.  So be kind.  Have a sweet spirit.  Don't brush them aside, but pull them in.  Constantly.  Be spirit-controlled, not self-controlled.

Have a bowed heart.  Pride can have a way of creating demands and expectations and drama and all sorts of chaos.  So slow down and bow before the Lord all throughout your day.  This will quiet your heart and keep it humble.  Keep your bible open and your heart attune to His.

Do something fun for you.  During your day, find some way to do something fun for you.  Even if that requires sending your kids to their respective bedrooms to play by themselves and you retreating to a hot shower where you can shave a little longer and let the soap lather deep.

Exercise.  Find at least 20 minutes to do some sort of physical activity during your day to allow your body to release some stress before hubby gets home.

Turn your heart towards husband.  At least one hour before your husband gets home, think about him.  Day dream about him.  Plan for him.  Purpose in your mind that you will find special ways to connect with him physically and emotionally when he gets home.  Whether that means loving him with a hot meal or a hot bride, do something special to show that he is more important than the offspring.

How do you find ways to balance home life, and kids, and husband, and your Jesus?

*I have so much to learn on this subject, but still I've learned something, so I'm linking up over at Sarah Mae's blog today: CLICK HERE.  Do you have a life lesson you can share?

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  1. Love it and so true!!! Running!! I pray and I am alone on my runs!! Thanks for giving examples too, they are all so important!!

  2. I love the idea of thinking about my husband an hour before he gets home. That is something I've never thought about. A good transitioning.

    PS I was next to you at Sarah Maes.

  3. We're expecting our first in March, so this is a great reminder to start focusing on how I can love my husband through the time and energy it will take to raise a little one. Thank you!

    Jordy |

  4. Hey Traci, this is great advice and so relevant. Often I get so caught up in the craziness of being a mom that I forget I am also a wife. I try my best to take a little time to "un-frump" myself whether that means slapping on some lip gloss or actually brushing my hair before my husband gets home. I want him to know that I care enough about him to take care of myself and have found that spending a little time on me not only makes me feel better and more awake, but also makes a difference for him. Even just changing out of sweatpants and into jeans does the job. Thanks again! Excited to be a part of the Tommy Mommy team now!

  5. Can I tell you how much I love this and how much I need to read, re-read, and re-re-read this? My husband gets home in about an hour... how amazing is His timing?

  6. LOVE this post. Thank you for writing it and putting into words what my heart needed to hear.

  7. A bowed heart, yes! Much needed here today:)

  8. Beautiful post Traci, timeless advice.

  9. Oh how I need this today!!
    Thank you! Why ds it read so easy yet we never seem to get it right
    Days are so busy & mumma seems to be last, I thank u for the challenge xx


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